To Sleep, Perchance to Dream... Aye, There's the Rub!

Sleep is apparently something we all need. Unfortunately. There are a lot of different kinds of sleeping tools out there, but somehow, I have failed to find the one that works for me. Read before bed, don't read before bed; go to sleep when you're tired, go to sleep at the same time every night; don't think about anything, think about something soothing; don't play games, (actually, everyone says that. Somehow, it doesn't work for me); don't be on the computer or TV, do some mindless activity. For some reason, my mind is always going! It's a little annoying, because my whole life people have said "Early to bed, early to rise, makes a man healthy, wealthy, and wise".

My bed at boarding school.

Studies show that those with high IQ's and/or intelligence tend to be night owls. Well, that's a good sign for me; it is very hard for me to go to sleep at night, and I am definitely not a morning person. Sure, there are those who believe that with the right schedule, you can be whatever type of person you wish, but that isn't the case for everybody. It's definitely not the case for me. Sure, if I need to, I can get up at 6 am, be ready to go by 6:30 (6:45 if I need a shower). But if I have the option to sleep in, my body physically won't let me sleep early. Tonight, I added a lot of vodka to my soda, took my meds early (9pm), and finished the whole thing before 10. I did start getting sleepy around 11, but for some reason when I went back to bed, I tossed, turned, and had to figure out if I could make it to level 8 on Tetris. Damn game. And now I'm wide awake, writing, because that's how I'm hoping to get tired again.

Joseph. So cuddly. Doesn't he look like a Joseph?

In order for the lucid dreaming to work, you have to remain absolutely still for at least 15 minutes, so that your body starts to fall asleep. Your mind can actually stay functioning, but your body has to remain still. That's impossible for me. I can't find a comfortable position. I can only sleep on my side (either one, usually left), but my face can't be on the pillow. I don't know why, but if the pillow, sheet, anything touches my cheek, it bugs me. So I usually have my left arm underneath the pillow, which is underneath my ear. Then my right arm has to be holding something. That's why I sleep with Joseph, my teddy bear. Sometimes it's Max (a bear from the fair), Matt (a St. Valentine's bear), or Sophie (an Easter bunny). Then, if I'm tired enough and my body can manage to stay still, I can fall asleep.

What I see on my News Feed for the blog.

As I was thinking about these thought, I decided to troll Facebook, and see who else can't sleep. Then I wrote a status update with all of these thoughts. Knowing that Facebook is not the place for stories, I did you guys the favor of copy/pasting my thoughts here.
"What's on my mind? How dare you, Facebook machine, to ask that!
But I said to myself, "Self, let's see who else can't sleep tonight. Because everyone has a mandatory obligation to post that they can't sleep, and include the time of writing. No way somebody's going to be able to subtract the hours at this time of night!"
Seriously, Facebook should just create a code that goes through posts and looks for the phrase "can't sleep", like it does for Christmas/ other holidays. Then we can just see who didn't sleep every night.
This should go on my blog instead. Sorry."
I'm still not sure why I apologized.